Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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