I love having hate sex.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
