She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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