if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
