Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
