worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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