last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
