it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
