3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
