Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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