I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
The convent might be a nice break from real life
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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