it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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