he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
