i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
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