I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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