we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize