did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
