Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Randomize
