There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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