what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
