She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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