She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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