Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
