He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
