Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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