There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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