Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
