What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Randomize
