Do you still have your period?
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
