I just made out with a guy for $7.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
