please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
