but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
porn star boner night. come get it.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
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