I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
