I accidentally burped into my bong.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
