I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Randomize
