Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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