i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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