nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
