dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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