dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
