what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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