I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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