Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
