i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
