At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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