She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
