I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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