sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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