She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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