thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
id be glad to
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
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