oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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