i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
