got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Randomize
