I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
