I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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