it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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