she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
