shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
