If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
