Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
