At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i drank out of a bidet.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
