Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
