Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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