Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
be right there i have to get my cape
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
