So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Randomize
