There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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