At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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