ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
