That's when you crack a 10am beer
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
