Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
