the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
