3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
