All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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