can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
